He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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