Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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