o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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