if you like me you must not know who I am
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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