You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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