I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
