I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
