STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize