How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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