your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
