i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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