So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
