a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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