He disabled his match.com account in front of me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
