She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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