i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm at about main and main street
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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