Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
