Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize