Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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