I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
a search helicopter?!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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