yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
