im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize