Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
