Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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