Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
