You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hippo gnu deer
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
