my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
