DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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