I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
