I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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