But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
that may or may not have been my penis.
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