I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize