His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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