I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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