He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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