You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
These tits shall not be calmed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
