when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
