New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
