thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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