yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
