dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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