omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize