I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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