you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
