he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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