somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
