remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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