I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
