And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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