we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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