so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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