can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
