I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I love you.
Bad choice
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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