oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
