dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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