Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
