That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
