i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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