I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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