carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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