just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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