i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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