Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
