Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
