gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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